The Marriage I Want, Not the Marriage I Have

So I was talking to a woman who was overly complimentary of my marriage. It was good to hear but if only she knew. She told me how my husband and I look like the perfect couple. We’re so happy together and we must wear the most amazing matching sleepwear (I know it was a little too far for me too but I had to grin and bear it).

Anyhoo, then she went on to talk about the blog and how when she reads it she just sees us doing everything it says (insert the sound of a scratched record here)!

That’s when I had to stop her. I told her “I’m so sorry to interrupt this wonderful fairy tale (especially since I was loving the fantasy too) but I write about the marriage I want, not the marriage I have”

The marriage where the house is spotless and all the cars magically have gas in them. The one where every day you wake up googly eyed just waiting to see his/her face.

The one where every hour or so you get a text that says “I love you” or “I miss you” or “girl you’re wearing that dress” (Ok I wouldn’t want my husband to say it like that but you get the point). The one where he happily answers “no” when you ask, “does this dress make me look fat” yeah that one.

We are by no means the perfect couple. As a matter of fact we struggle to put a lot of the strategies we’ve learned and share with others, into practice. It’s always easier to tell people the right way to do something than it is to actually do it yourself. We argue fuss and fight, I am sarcastic as the day is long (you can take the girl out of the hood…), we get consumed in other things and find ourselves forgetting to put the marriage first and sometimes we are just downright mean to one another.

The key to our lasting marriage is a lot of love and a lot more God. We pray for this! We don’t leave it to chance, because we know our flesh will fail every time but God never will. I share all of this first to invite you to turn your marriage over to God. In our hands marriage is fragile and easily broken, but his hands protect it from the darts of the enemy. Secondly I share to say, it’s OK if you mess up. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off but never ever give up on your marriage.

He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High, shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

Psalm 91:1, New King James Version

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