The Innocent Love Affair

The Innocent Love Affair
Today, unlike in the past, women thrive in the workplace just as well as many men. Of course there are still issues, but women have made great strides in being seen as professionals. Even to the point where many women no longer desire to have children but would opt for a higher salary instead. This shift has introduced a very dangerous element in marriages, namely ‘the workplace romance’. Many people hear that and immediately conjure the cover of a steamy Harlequin romance novel (am I dating myself there). They see the secretary bringing her boss a cup of coffee only to slam the door and be whisked away until the jarring knock on the office door. Well that’s by no means what I’m talking about.

In this age of succesful professional women, both men and women are spending the majority of their Quality Time in the workplace. Since most couples don’t work together, this Quality Time is being spent with someone else, this is where the term ‘work spouse’ must’ve originated. A term which by the way I hate as it’s so demeaning to marriage. These relationships start off innocently. The two of you have to work on a project together. This project has you working very odd hours and spending even more time together than usual. By the time the project is complete you have found a place in your heart for that person which should never have been.
Or let’s go with even more innocence as that’s a little too obvious. You work in an office with the guy who sends the funniest emails each day, and they just keep office spirits up. You tell him why one of his emails touched you and he’s hooked. Neither of you even realize what happened but out of no where you have developed a bond. You validated him so now he feels obligated to produce. He finds himself searching high and low for similar emails to get your seal of approval. You run out to lunch and laugh your heads off over what he’s sent this week. You go out to happy hour and sit together to laugh some more. This is all innocent I know, and I realize people will be turned off by the lack of self control it would take for this relationship to go anywhere, but it happens every day. The enemy tricks us into slowly letting our guard down. An email turns into facebook posts, which lead to texts and finally phone calls. You find yourself longing to hear from that person. Face it: you’re involved in an innocent love affair. You begin to share things that you probably shouldn’t. You have no bad intentions but you spend a good portion of your workday with this person. You talk about the in-laws that are getting on your nerves, the way your husband puts the toothpaste away or even the argument you had last night. Yes it’s getting personal and you’re in deep, too deep. You have let this man/woman on the inside.
Tell tale signs that you have let this person on the inside:
-Check your heart rate when your spouse and this person are together. Is it perfectly normal or are you extremely uncomfortable?
-ask yourself if your spouse would approve of your conversation/activities?
-has your spouse questioned the relationship before?
-would you allow your spouse to read the emails, texts, and messages you send back and forth?
-are you defaming your spouse to this person?
-are you sharing dreams and fantasies with this person that you haven’t shared with your spouse?
– The dead giveaway:do people regularly refer to you as work spouse’s?

If any of these are an issue for you then you may be smack dab in the middle of an innocent love affair. Is it too late for you, oh heavens no.

Step one: pray, pray and pray some more. Pray about what to say, what to do and how to handle this situation. More importantly wait for an answer. Allow God to move on your behalf because you see what leaning to your own understanding has got you.

Step two: cut all ties. Marriage is a sacred covenant relationship between you, your spouse and God. Anything that interferes in that relationship must be cut. You don’t necessarily have to be rude, but you do have to stop all communication. Unfortunately sometimes that calls for a little more assertiveness than you may be comfortable with.
Step three: share all of the dreams, fantasies, jokes and plans with your spouse. This is your best friend for life.
Step four: find yourself a same sex accountability partner. This is the person you allow to check you when you’re going too far. They will tell you when something is bordering on uncomfortable or inappropriate, and they can see when that girl/guy has googoo eyes for you often when you can’t.
step five: full disclosure. Everything you have should be able to be viewed by your spouse. If you have a facebook friend who gives you random compliments you wouldn’t show your spouse get rid of him, if you have an old girlfriend in your friends list who often tries to reminisce about old times cut her off. Remember nothing is private as the two have become one.
In the end we will all build relationships with the opposite sex. The goal here is being careful not to allow the enemy to trick you into an innocent love affair you didn’t even know you were having.

Matthew 26:41 Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *