I often use the term:
‘secure your mask first.’
This references the great advice given on an airplane during the safety briefing. They remind us to secure our masks first because
No One survives if the caregiver dies.
This is also true in marriage.
Let me clarify. A marriage is not the place for selfishness to rear it’s ugly head. My husband often asks couples, “Are you being selfish or selfless in your marriage”. The correct answer is selfless of course. You forsake all others and give yourself only to this individual, the two become one, no more selfish desires but operating as a unit, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
All of that is true and necessary, but none of it has anything to do with securing your mask first. You can still be selfless and secure your mask first. Securing your mask first includes things like:
-making and attending doctors appointments
-having a therapist or trusted friend to debrief and down load with
-making time to pamper yourself when necessary (and often as possible is often necessary).
-setting aside time for your hobbies, likes and things that give you joy
-allowing yourself to just “Be” sometimes (thank you Dionna). That means having no agenda and just chilling.
Feel free to put your cape back on and readjust your crown at anytime, but please remember to secure your mask first and give your spouse permission to do the same.
Key take away:
NO ONE SURVIVES IF THE CAREGIVER DIES!
The best example of the need for self care is our Lord and Savior:
And in the morning, rising up a great while before day, he went out, and departed into a solitary place, and there prayed.
Mark 1:35 (KJV)