Noone cheats on the Proverbs 31 woman. If someome can cheat on the Proverbs 31 woman then there’s definitely no hope for me.
Sadly these are the selfish words that went through my head when I heard the horrible news that the Terkeursts were getting a divorce.
If you have read my book or followed my blog you know I have been a huge fan of Lysa Terkeurst’s ministry (is it right to call yourself a fan of ministy, or should I be super deep and say I’m a follower or believer in), anyhoo I love the ministry and the things she does and shares for the kingdom.
Well recently she revealed that her husband was unfaithful. Alhough she tried hanging on by even turning to fasting and prayer, he couldn’t seem to let this other person go. I hate to admit this was a painful blow. I dropped a few tears and I’m sure many others have as well. I went through various emotions from wanting to embrace her, to wanting to punch him in the face, then the compassion of just wanting to love both of them (and their family) through the pain.
No, I’ve never met Lysa (yet I call her Lysa as if we’re the best of friends), I don’t talk with her on the phone, and we don’t chat online, or anywhere else for that matter. She is just the representative for all that I thought a great marriage should be. I honestly never even knew much about her husband I just assumed they were picture perfect. I apologize in advance for giving her an office she never asked for, but her great advice, her scriptural quips and amazing perspective flips on all that goes on in the lives of a real woman (a real married woman) made it seem like all I had to do was change my perspective and my marriage would be OK.
Then I think of my marriage. My marriage that is fraught with stress, strain, anger and strife at times. My marriage that looks anything but holy and would definitely not be considered acceptable. My marriage that reminds me that marriage is never easy but it’s always worth it.
I realize God is in control but I have to be honest and wonder how the kingdom can benefit from this pain.
Then I remember the fact that Lysa’s ministry has reached hundreds, thousands if not millions of women. She has sprinkled her Christian fairy dust through books, radio, and even TV. Why wouldn’t the enemy go after her, her family and her ministry full force. She is a threat to all he (the enemy) holds near and dear.
I pray for her broken heart and spirit, I pray for her family, and I pray that the ministry doesn’t take a negative hit because of this. But in all of that pain, turmoil and craziness I’d like to give a shout out to Lysa and all she’s done for kingdom of God. If she wasn’t a threat he wouldn’t go after her so hard. I would never desire for her to lose her marriage and her family in this but she has been a good servant and I believe God is well pleased.
When even the Proverbs 31 woman can’t keep her man from cheating what do all of us common folk do?
Well we keep the main thing the main thing. My pastor often says “marriage is not for happiness, it’s for holiness”. That being the case, strive to make your marriage a holy place. A place where God can comfortably rest His name knowing that you are doing all you can to show His love through your relationship. Pray for your relationship and your spouse everyday. Be that loving representative for Christ and recognize you can’t control what your spouse does but you can control how you respond. Live, love and laugh together as if it’s your last day because the sanctity and security of your marriage is a witness for Christ you never have to work for.
I am sad a marriage had to die to take this stance, but I am able to stand and say fight for your marriage at all costs and allow God to work on the two of you.
I should add that I only share this story because Lysa was transparent enough to share it in various interviews. I am grateful for her transparency and again pray that God bless her for her faithfulness to the work of the kingdom.
Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness.
Ephesians 6:13-14, KJV