5 Things they never told you about marriage
- It’s not the fairytale you imagined it would be.
Marriage starts out with the beautiful horse and carriage, the flowing gown and the lovely (sometimes over the top) decorations that mentally whisk you away to some wonderfully exotic location. Then it gets real!
The compliments turn to complaints, the snuggling turns to wrestling over covers, and the midday romps turn to a planned weekly, monthly or even yearly chore.
The work in marriage is keeping the fairytale alive. Sending the just because flowers, setting up the romantic weekend, and keeping up the practice of doing what you did to snag him/her in the first place. Being kind never hurts but going a step beyond and being more kind to your spouse than you are to anyone else, now that makes a marriage that will last. Purposely and predominately putting your spouse first, not just in word, but in deed.
- Sticks and Stones can break my bones but names will never hurt me. Remember saying this in elementary school? Taunting bullies or naysayers by letting them know that you are totally unbothered. Well the opposite is true in marriage. In marriage sticks and stones can break your bones and names can break your heart.
Many marriages die due to unresolved pain and anguish over something that was said. Remember to build not break your spouse. Remember to use words to encourage and love, not to manipulate or get revenge on your spouse.
This relationship is the one that is designed to last ‘til death, so make that journey smoothe not painful. Never call each other names, always compliment, motivate and encourage your spouse with your words. Remember painful scars may fade but painful words last forever.
- The act of two becoming one requires more than just love! This is a physical, mental, emotional and spiritual bond that takes work, time, and major effort to build. Don’t think it ‘just happens’ when you say I do, but rather be willing to serve one another and never deprive one another in an effort to make your marriage strong and healthy.
- There are no do overs!
Unlike when you were a kid and did a bad cartwheel, you don’t get the opportunity to do it over. When you mess up in marriage the pain usually sticks around for quite some time. Work at keeping those vows and painting boundaries so you don’t have to seek forgiveness or rebuild trust.
- It’s never easy but always worth it!
Marriage is that job we sign up for thinking every day will look like the wedding day. We think we will always be madly in love and happy to live life together. The unfortunate reality is there are many days where you will not like one another. Days where just the mere sound of his key in the door will make you cringe or her car pulling in the garage makes you want to run and hide. The most important thing to remember is you are in this thing ‘for better or for worse.’ This is not just a job it’s an adventure (sorry I couldn’t resist the military slogan here), and the only way to make it a great adventure is to work as hard as you do at everything else.
Happily ever after doesn’t just happen it is created. So get to creating your happily ever after together.
Sometimes we mix up us against the world with us against each other. Be teammates, lovers, partners and friends and allow God to enhance your relationship and seal it for a lifetime.