In order to get a reluctant campfire going, blowing on the flame is necessary. This is where the term fan the flames literally comes from. When we think of the idiom ‘fan the flames’ however a negative connotation usually comes to mind. I ask you to shift that mental model to: the positive act of intensifying the love for your spouse
And I digress: So the end of the school year for a teacher can be pretty stressful. The idea of having a deadline to add all grades for the entire year, to document the accurate attendance for an extremely transient population, turning in all supplies given over the course of the year, and not to mention packing as if you’re moving out, because you never know when you are. This coupled with the stressors of daily life can drive anyone over the edge. This year however the end of year stress was exacerbated by the on the job stress my husband endures daily and the extra pressure he adds to his workload by being on several boards, being in the military and working with various political associations. All of this created a powder keg in our house that with the tiniest spark of ‘good morning’ said the wrong way, was destined to blow. Don’t worry, we weren’t headed for divorce court or anything, but we were at each other’s throats sharing a little more than intense fellowship on a regular basis.
I share all of this to implore you to make time for your marriage. Unplug from the matrix and fan the flames of your marriage in order to keep the spark going. We recently returned from a Celebrity cruise to Bermuda where there was no phone service, no internet and we couldn’t even send or receive smoke signals from home. After the initial culture shock and the new normal of not touching your phone every few minutes, we found ourselves settling into a romantic getaway where all we wanted to do was share our next adventure with one another. We stayed up until obscene hours either dancing or just laughing and talking, and we rekindled the relationship we didn’t even realize we were losing. We also became that touchy feely PDA couple we so despise, but just couldn’t help ourselves. Being with a couple who are still in love after 42 years of marriage didn’t hurt much either. They let us know that it’s possible to love one spouse forever and taught us not to sweat the small stuff.
Take Away: Plan time away with your spouse. This can include going on an all-inclusive exotic vacation, or a trip one hour away to the middle of the woods where there’s nothing but the two of you. Unplug from the matrix by turning off all electronics and focusing on one another. Make it your goal to leave more in love than you came. Also refrain from all arguments. Think before you speak and be extra cognizant of how the things you do and say negatively impact your spouse. The most important thing for this day, weekend, week or month is to fan the flames of your marriage in order to intensify the love you have for one another.
The scripture reference is the Song of Solomon.
Yup I went there! Be extra daring and in your time alone read it aloud together
WOOHOO let the fun begin!
Shout to my boo and K.D. & J.D. (insider)